Incomprehensible
by AsianFlipGurl
Summary: Love is like math, a simple problem getting complicated. Why did I ever agree to this? Written in Mary's POV. Secret Santa gift for Mage the Observer! Oneshot


**Yay! Secret Santa project is FINALLY over... I mean, I didn't have any problem writing the fic, just finding a stupid name for this. Oh, well. This is what I came up with. Most of the quotes I use are from my friend.  
**

**Hehe, fairly easy to write because my Secret Santa person wasn't very picky. So my present goes out to... Mage the Observer, or in some other cases Mage-mommy... (Just kidding.) Mage gave me the motivation to write _his _story, even if he didn't know it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this whatsoever.

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I couldn't understand him.

I don't think _anyone _could. What was going through his mind was far beyond what I knew -- far away enough to even think of his girlfriend.

I wasn't complaining; he had warned me of this. No matter what I did couldn't convince him to stay here in Mineral Town.

He couldn't stay, _wouldn't _stay for any apparent reason or person.

He wouldn't stay for me.

We had sent letters back and forth each day, the only reason I wake up in the morning. In the summer, I had always looked forward to see his face, waiting for me in my library.

But these days I stayed in my bed, having lost my appetite and not wanting to face the world. All because Kai didn't send me one letter.

It was Fall 23 when I last sent my reply to him. Today the calendar read Winter 10.

I rolled over, looking out the window. The little sunshine gushed in despite the falling snowflakes racing out like a 100-meter dash from the dull, gray clouds. The striving trees struggled to battle against this long and hard winter. They were pale and bare, fragile without their prolific, verdant leaves. Stu and May trudged along, noses pink, May marching in front with her face triumphant. Their hats were placed clumsily atop their heads, practically falling off.

"Mary?" My mother's calm voice called out to me and I rolled my back to the door. She knocked on the door lightly. "A friend's here to see you. Do you want to let her in?"

My mother was asking my permission to do something. What a surprise. She never did things like this. Always acting before I could.

"Go ahead." I muttered, hoping she wouldn't hear me. The door opened, much to my agony, and the blonde farmer popped in.

Claire glared at me, looking unsatisfied with my morning look. She wore a sky-blue jacket, a creamy white hat with a puff ball, and a yellow scarf that looked like it was almost choking her. Claire looked like the spring/summer sky even if the main color of the season was white. She hovered over me and I sat uncomfortably.

"Hi, Mary!" The bubbly girl bobbed, wanting her enthusiasm to rub off on me. Too bad, Claire, it wasn't working. I shot invisible daggers from my eyes but she didn't seem to notice. "We are going to have a girl's day out, isn't that fun? We haven't done something like this ever since Gray and me…" She trailed off. _Gray and me started dating, _what is what she was going to say. I didn't like to talk about it, even if I had Kai. I had lost Gray to my _best friend._

"But anyways, we got to get you going!" She tugged on my wrists and pulled me off of my bed without hesitation. Her hands felt soft and smooth unlike the calloused hands punctured by working from spring to autumn. Claire didn't care what I wanted to do. As long as she saved her best friend in need of showering. Of course, she pushed me roughly into my bathroom before I had the chance to argue back. Great.

I stepped into the bathtub, the warm water already running against my tensed back. The water calmed my senses and made me forget the disaster in the making that was about to happen outside in the real world.

I sighed as I stepped out of the bathroom, steam gushing out behind me. I was well-dressed, prepared to work in the library for once today. My hair was braided, not one single lock of hair sticking out.

"Great, you're ready." Claire said, appearing at my door frame. "I found this," She held up a thick envelope, "In the post."

She threw it on my bed, like it had a disease or something. Well, Kai to her was…nothing. Ever since they broke up, they hadn't spoken a word to each other, even for my sake.

Then something surprised me. Claire smirked. One of the things you'd have to be careful of was Claire's devious smirks. That would mean that she was planning something, something that would help you in some way or the other, but in the hardest way possible.

"Um," She shifted her weight uncomfortably, "I forgot to feed my animals, I'll be _right _back, okay, Mary?"

I nodded, expecting the blow from her strategy. She dashed out and I heard the slam of the door close behind her. The letter looked, no, _glared _at me with a burning passion that screamed, _Open me!_

"UGH!" I yelled in frustration. Finally, after all the mind arguments, I gave up when my mind got the best of me. I shut the door quietly, wanting privacy from my parents. Sitting on my bed, the only sound I could hear was the ripping of the envelope. Half-opened in my hands, I reminisced back to Summer.

_I glanced over my book, Romeo and Juliet, which I was reading for maybe the millionth time. Kai was staring impatiently at me -- and at the clock for closing time._

_I sighed inwardly filled with much frustration and aggravation. "Why do even __**try**__, Kai? There are so many girls in Mineral Town and you choose me. Me! Of all people, Kai, I'm probably the most boring person you have ever met."_

_I thought he would be angered with me and storm off, but his face curled into a big smile and he laughed as it were the most silliest thing._

"_Oh, Mares," he used my nickname. After all, he the one who gave it to me. "You're like one of those people who down on themselves. Hmm, what's the word? Oh, yeah, self-conscious. You're one of the most __**interesting **__I've met actually."_

Kai had turned me into a more outgoing person. He made me try new things -- and that didn't just include his cooking.

I sniffled and whisked away those memories. I mean, they weren't _bad_, it's just that it hurt so much to remember him and see that he wasn't here with me.

Filled with determination, I ripped the rest of the envelope open and picked out the first thing my hands could lay on. It was a letter.

I disclosed the first and second flap shakily and slowly. Why was I so scared? I've done this thousands of times before -- and I don't think I'm using hyperboles. I was even eager to open one of his letters so why was this so frightening? I thought I knew myself inside and out…

**My dearest Mary,**

**You look so beautiful today… Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Things have been so busy these days, and I was recently moved to another restaurant here in South America. The officials were about to move me to cold Europe, but you know me. I didn't have to even argue after I said I didn't want to go there. If they would move me to a cold place, then I would rather go to Mineral Town where I would be close to you.**

**Anyway, people in South America could eat! I mean, they gave me big orders to be in at Christmas. When I ask for how many, they only say 9 or 10 because they're not sure if the family is coming home from North America. Apparently, most of the people in South America moved to USA for more job opportunities. **

**So, I've inserted some pictures with this letter and right now, the boss chef is calling me to complete an order. Gotta go. Love ya.**

**-Kai**

I picked my hands through the pictures that were sent together with the short letter. Usually, he would write a page or two, but this was barely ¼.

One picture sent me gasping off to space. Kai had sent me a picture with his shirt off, a sheepish smile plastered on his face and his right hand scratching his head with intimidation. His muscled, toned chest was perfect and this was this first time I've noticed that he had a six-pack.

My head shot up, embarrassed, even if nobody was there with me. I was ogling over a _picture. _A _picture, _for Goddess's sake. But I was grateful that he really wasn't there, he would tease me about this.

I picked through the other pictures, not exactly taking my interest as the others.

"What is _this_?" I whispered softly to myself. My head spun with vertigo. I held it to the light to see if it were actually real. Yep, it was.

The picture I held in my hand was no ordinary. You wouldn't find a boyfriend showing this to his girlfriend. It was a picture of him and wrapped around his waist was a girl. She looked so beautiful. Cheekbones high, golden blonde hair, a perfect figure, and a flawless blemish-free forehead. Kai's arms was playfully enfolded over her arms, protectively even. I could see why Kai would prefer her.

I picked up a piece of loose leaf that was lying around in my bedroom and scribbled down furiously.

**Kai,**

**I could relate to those people in South America. People want their loved ones home, with them, but I guess you got to do what you got to do. **

**Mary**

**P.S. Why are you calling me beautiful? You haven't even seen me.**

That was the shortest letter I've ever written to Kai, but did I care at the moment? I ran down the stairs and into the cold air without a jacket.

I slammed the post into the stupid mailbox and pulled the red flag up violently to show that there was something in there.

"Urgh!" I kicked the pole of the mailbox hard, taking out all my anger on it.

"I assume that something with Kai is going horribly wrong…" A feminine voice said from behind me. I whirled around. There Claire stood, amusement written all over her face.

"I don't know, Claire. I don't even know…" I trailed off.

Her face became abruptly serious. "You don't know what you have, Mary? Kai actually cares for you -- even loves you more than he did to me or Popuri."

"All I know is that he's a despicable, intolerable, ignorant _womanizer_…but I…I love him." I shrunk back like a child expecting to be scolded.

Instead, Claire's expression softened. "You may _think_ that; I did at first, too, actually. But Kai isn't like that at all and the rumors just aren't true. He cares, Mary, I don't know any other way to put it."

"Why are you the one defending him?" I snapped. "I thought you didn't like him."

Her expression didn't change. "I'm just pointing out what you're missing." She scoffed. "Even if Kai and I don't get along, _you _are still my friend and I care about your decisions. I mean, I support you in whatever decision choice you make, but I want to know if it's going to be the right one."

* * *

Kai responded almost immediately; it took him only three days to reply and send it.

**Mary, **

**You know perfectly well that I can't. I warned you about this… Or don't you trust me? I feel that way, Mares, the way you won't let me read your novel or how you just wrote me the shortest letter ever. Usually, I'd enjoy receiving letters that are 5 to 6 pages long. Mary, are you doubting me? You have to know that there's only one girl for me. And I don't lie.**

**Love,**

**Kai**

**P.S. Mary, I don't have to see how you look like to say that you're beautiful.**

I read the postscript before it sunk in.

He really cares…but who was that girl? Kai's right… I doubt that I have any faith in him.

* * *

I sat at the counter, paper set in front of me and a pen tapping out a beat. I knew what I was going to write, but I was afraid to say it to him.

_Tap._

I stuck my mouth into a pout.

_Tap._

I sighed heavily. This was driving me crazy.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap._

"Honey, are you okay?" She peeked out of her room.

I sat up stiffly. "Yea-, Yes, I'm fine." I had gotten so used to Kai's slang words that I had started using it. Good thing I stopped myself in front of my mother; she corrects me on my English too much.

"That's good." She closed the door, not wanting to disturb the silence of the library. Even though nobody was here.

I sighed and glanced lazily over to the CD player and the stack of compact disks that Kai gave me a week after he left. Apparently, it was one of the modern technologies that was used outside of Mineral Town. I rolled my fingers leisurely over my temples.

My mind took over as I picked up a random CD. I pushed it in harshly into the player and sat down. I hoped that it wasn't some rocker/punk CD. I'm _really _not in the mood for that right now.

I got up and sorted out the books set on the table into their right places. I didn't really listen to the CD until I got back to the paper and pen.

_Last night I took a walk in the snow.  
Couples holding hands, places to go.  
Seems like everyone but me is in love.  
Santa, can you hear me?  
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss.  
I sent it off  
It just said this  
I know exactly what I want this year.  
Santa can you hear me?  
I want my baby, baby.  
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.  
Maybe he'll be all my own in a big red bow._

_Santa can you hear me?  
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing.  
Tell me my true love is near.  
He's all I want, just for me underneath my Christmas tree.  
I'll be waiting here.  
Santa that's my only wish this year._

Immediately, I shut the horrid CD off. It was a good song but it reminded me too much…of…

I started scribbling something down on the paper.

**Kai, **

**I miss you, is that something bad to do? You're not here on one of the most important days of the year. Do you think I am that much of a strong person? **

**Sometimes, I feel that you love Summer more than me. I'm not trying to sound stuck-up but I can't take it when you're away most of the time. You warned me that I'd be hurt and I can't take this anymore. I have to let go of you, Kai. **

By this time, I was crying, biting down on my lip to stifle the tears. There was some guttural noises that I made because I couldn't make it out. But I couldn't take this. It hurt…more than Gray broke up with me, more than I saw Gray with Claire, more than Kai left. Because Kai was leaving me…forever.

* * *

He didn't respond. I don't think he ever would.

Today the calendar read Winter 25, or Christmas Day in some other places. I sat in my pajamas on my bed, not caring to open the presents.

A knock came upon my door and I had a weird feeling of déjà vu. My mother responded even if I didn't answer, something very typical of her. "Mary, I think there's something you'd like downstairs!"

"I told you I didn't want any presents." I replied.

She scoffed. "You told me but not the others." I heard the tapping of her shoes faint from my room walking away.

I got up, hungry. After all, it was already one in the afternoon and I hadn't got up to anything.

Going downstairs, a letter set on the counter caught my eye. There was nothing else but that, so this is probably what my mother was talIt had no name so I wouldn't know who it was from but it was labeled Mary. I couldn't make out the handwriting either.

Not wanting to sound eager, I went to the kitchen and got myself some chocolate milk. I walked back calmly to the counter and set down my milk. Ripping open the letter, I saw that there was something wrapped in…_pink_?! I mean, I didn't…_dislike _it but it probably wasn't my first choice of color either. Whoever had given this to me didn't know me well.

**Dear Mary,**

**I used to think that... Love is like math, a simple problem getting complicated. Now I think that... Love is like writing a book; it can be shaped into whatever you want. It's a fantasy taking off.  
**

I stared at it with confusion. It wasn't in Kai's handwriting or anybody I knew for the matter. I tore open the present and inside the box was…a CD. There was something written in the same unknown handwriting, **Pay close attention to the lyrics!**

I plugged the player into the output and pushed the CD into it.

_24/7, 365, You're the one I need  
Sun down, sun up, Everyday you become a part me  
Baby when the calendar pages change, calendar pages change._

_January, seen you there, Picture love from just a stare.  
Got committed was with it.  
February made love.  
March was like a serenade, symphony along we played.  
April them showers came, but quickly dried up soon.  
By the end May, I'm calling other girls your name._

_All of my homies, flipping out on me.  
It ain't been the same.  
I care less what they might assume.  
First week of June  
Convinced the only girl I needed you._

_We got it no doubt about it, Stay out of cold.  
We got full control.  
And it don't matter how the seasons change.  
It don't matter how the season change.  
Girl, Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall  
Love won't ever change at all._

_24/7, 365, You're the one I need.  
Sun down, sun up, everyday you become a part me.  
Baby when the calendar pages change, the more I love you.  
Calendar pages change, the more I love you._

_4th of July weekend, sparks flew.  
Close, fewer the water island blue trip for two._

_August I can remember when I sent you couple dozen roses.  
So your friends would notice.  
My hearts' on my sleeve.  
Still together September got kinda rocky.  
October and then November I got caught told me toodles your number._

_But when December came, your love came back again  
Couldn't let each other go.  
You already know._

I sipped some of my chocolate milk when I felt a pair of arms wrap protectively around me.

"So, did you like the song?" A masculine voice said seductively.

I spun around and when I saw **his** face…I spit out all my chocolate milk!

He closed his eyes, but he didn't look mad. He actually looked…amused?

"Not the greeting I wanted but I'm glad you miss me!" Kai smiled glamorously. The smile was breath-taking and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

But I forced myself. "I'm so sorry! Hold on, I'll get some napkins. Just…wait right there."

I hurriedly ran to the cupboard to get some napkins but when I came back…Kai was stripping his shirt off. I nearly fainted. I started sweating and my legs felt like jelly that was going to pop.

Ugh, I can't even think right at this point!

He looked the same as he did in the picture, only more real. Well-toned, perfect muscles, who wouldn't love _that?_

He looked up to me and I hesitated for a split second until I remembered that I was the one who had the napkins. Under his stare, it was like he was beckoning, _pleading _for me to come to him.

I walked with great posture, to let Kai know that I was really over him.

Nobody talked as I handed the napkins over to him. He paused and held his hands up to show that they were sticky too. Guess that means that I would have to wipe the stuff off…

I slid my hand slowly across his face and chest, hoping that it wouldn't hurt him. Since I was so tiny, I had to stand on the tips of my toes to reach his chest. His nose tickled at my ear and his sweet breath made me woozy.

He was irresistible. It was so tempting, not seeing him for a long amount of time… As soon as I pressed my lips against his, I instantly regretted it. He deepened the kiss and carried me onto the counter like I was nothing because of my size. And I couldn't help but to respond more aggressively. I closed the space between us and…hitched my leg around his waist? I wasn't _totally _aware of his strong hands inching up my thigh. Wasn't I that quiet girl who took the longest to get over the fact that boys didn't have cooties?

We broke off for a while to capture in some air before we preceded.

"Why are you here, Kai? Aren't you mad at me for breaking up with you?" I asked.

He responded without any hesitation. "I'm here because I realize that I wanted to settle down. And I wanted you to be the first one to know about it. As for the second question… 'Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.'" He quoted.

He pushed me on the counter until I was reclining. I demanded, "Settle down? Does this have something to do with a girl? Are you getting married?"

Since he said that he was settling down, it must be somewhere where it's Summer all year round... The blonde-haired girl popped into my mind. Kai answered thoughtfully, "Yes, if she decides to have me."

"Is it that blonde-haired girl…?" I asked, turning away from him.

It was silent for a second, but then he roared with laughter. I whipped my head back.

"Mares, that girl…is my sister! Is this what it is all about? And I'm here…_kissing _you. Goddess, Mary, this is the time you choose to be slow."

I noticed that he was kneeling down on the floor and I shot right side up. This can't be happening… Not right now, right here…

He smiled widely and said, "Mary, will you -- oof!"

I pounced on he before he could say anything else. "Yes! I love you and always will, Kai."

We kissed yet all I could think of now is, _I hope my mother isn't watching…

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**And that concludes my attempt at getting some kind of one-shot. I would greatly appreciate some reviews as my present now...?**


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